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| Dust jacket cover for the 1986 edition |
"If there is any enlightenment that I have been awakened to, it is that men's minds are dominated by their little aches and pains. We want to think that we are more than that, that we control our lives with our intellect. But now, without civilization clouding the issue, I wonder to what extent intellect is controlled by instinct, and culture is the result of raw gut reactions to life." - Steven Callahan, Adrift, 1986, Page 74
I suffer from aquaphobia, but am also an aquaphile. When I was around 4 years old, I nearly drowned in a swimming pool and it has left a mark on me, yet, I am constantly attracted to the realm of water: streams, rivers, ponds, lakes, and even oceans. It sometimes leaves me in a spiritual vertigo of repulsion and attraction. I was fortunate to spend one summer about 5 years ago, sailing around San Francisco Bay under the guidance of a master seaman. I recall writing at the time that sailing was like "...riding a shark. Never have I felt so much raw natural power at my command, so much freedom from everything I thought was important, yet knowing that if I let my guard down, if become complacent, it will turn on me and devour me whole".
There was a time, the first time we sailed out into the Pacific, that the topping stay broke loose from the boom, and the main sheet snapped freely in the wind (landlubber terms: the big sail broke loose). The current was so strong leaving the bay we were being pushed further into the ocean and the iron wind (ie engine) at full throttle had us moving back, but at a crawl. We were in danger of needing to be rescued. The topping stay needed to be repaired. So there I was leaning out over the ocean, being held to safety by a line, and another crewman's hand, and trying to grab the stay as it flapped in the wind. Everything turned out fine, but it was harrowing for a while.
"I have chosen the sailor's life to escape society's restrictions and I have sacrificed it's protections." - Steven Callahan, Adrift, 1986, Page 84
I tell you this because it allows me to sympathize and empathize (even if my experience is below trivial in comparison) with Steven Callahan's account of his true life sinking and survival for 76 days aboard a small life raft. I understood the nautical terms and the dangers they implied (when I read other reviews, a common complaint was the use of nautical terms without explanation. Perhaps a glossary would have been useful for 'landlubbers'?).
In practical terms, Adrift is a tight book, though not precisely gripping, or suspenseful, is nonetheless captivating. I read it in two days. I had wondered - before reading it - how a book about a life raft could be compelling for so many pages. It is compelling in the extreme. One can hardly fathom, even as Callahan explains it, how he managed to survive. It chronicles how his boat sunk and the resulting 76 days adrift in the Atlantic and indeed what it took to survive: learning to spear fish, distill water, drive off sharks, surviving storms, waves, unbearable heat, starvation, and even madness. It chronicles how he dealt with a punctured life raft, accidentally poisoning himself, and the revolting harsh truth of saltwater sores, and other unpleasant truths of a body that begins to waste away. Illustrations throughout, drawn by the author, help bring some moments to vivid reality. It is an unflinching look at survival, instinct, man's ability to adapt, our needs versus wants, and ultimately what matters beyond the simple need to live.
"For the first time, I clearly see a vast difference between human needs and human wants. Before this voyage, I always had what I needed - food, shelter, clothing, and companionship - yet I was often dissatisfied when I didn't get everything I wanted, when people didn't meet my expectations, when a goal was thwarted, or when I couldn't acquire some material goody. My plight has given me a strange kind of wealth, the most important kind. I value each moment that is not spent in pain, desperation, hunger, thirst, or loneliness. Even here, there is richness all around me. [...] Yet [...] I need more, I need more than food and drink. I need to feel the company of other human spirits. I need to find more than a moment of tranquility, faith, and love." - Steven Callahan, Adrift, 1986, Page 109
Reading this book I felt the deep attraction and need to sail again while also fearing the terrible consequences of an indifferent sea to the slightest failures of men's arrogance. We are not in control of the shark, it is but an illusion that we maintain in order to abate fears. The truth is, we sail the oceans at the whims of nature's Gods, who will take away everything in a moment, and perhaps give it back sparingly, as Steven Callahan discovered somewhere in the Atlantic.
