Black Friday (or Stay Home?)

Image found on the Internet (of an actual Black Friday Stampede)

"When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living." – Tecumseh

Or you could trample an old lady on the way to a great bargain on a flat screen TV.

I sadly acknowledge with a great sense of loss that tradition, values, morality, and basic decency is lost from our society, and shall never be found again. As we are slowly (but gaining speed) consigned to the wreckage of all failed societies; whatever comes after us may sift through the detritus and wonder where we went wrong. There are many fingers to point; many events and changes to lay blame; but that is not the point of this post. It would take far too long to examine, be a fruitless endeavor, and I haven't the heart.

What I do want to do is talk briefly about just one element of modern society (in the United States at least) that deeply disturbs me: Black Friday. It is one thing to showcase a defect in society, but quite another to showcase the defect in individuals, indeed, individuals who perhaps are decent most other times. In short, it is about unchecked greed. Or as The Buddha said, "The root of all suffering is desire".

"If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble." - Bob Hope

Let me simply say: Only the day before we were sitting around a table, surrounded by friends and family, giving thanks for that which we already have, giving thanks to vague and ill-defined, but no less important notions of health, family, and home. We had subsumed our desires and our greed in reflection of what truly matters. Then the next day, perhaps not even then (that night?), some of us forget all that we are thankful for, rushing in animal-like herds, pushing, shoving, stampeding for that which we do not own; do not possess; lest someone else deprives us of such material possessions at bargain basement prices. We cannot live without that toaster, that microwave, that TV, those pieces of clothing, those video games, jewelries, DVDs, toys, and other ultimately transient objects. In less than 24 hours, we sacrificed everything noble in ourselves to take on the mantle of everything base. Who does that?

In two words, the spiritually deprived. I am not talking of religion or even faith. I am talking of the individual spirit bent too long in the service of external selfishness - that which we are taught to value by commercialism from near birth, and not in the internal selfishness of self-improvement, morality, ethics, and the like. Virtue is an antiquated notion to be scorned. Vice is celebrated...usually live on TV.

From an article called Is Greed Ever Good? The Psychology of Selfishness, published March 2009, psychologytoday.com, by Steven A. Diamond Ph.D.

"This is our futile attempt to fill a spiritual and emotional emptiness within, to gratify some long-buried need, to heal or at least numb some festering psychological wound. Such self-defeating behaviors are rooted in formerly unmet infantile needs, childhood and adult trauma, as well as failure to appropriately be sufficiently selfish in the present. We strive instead to avoid the Self."

In some respects, we are actively encouraged by corporations, by our own government, to spend money, and lots of it, more than we can afford, for the sake of material possession. These same forces tell us that being selfish in the self is bad trait - that individual responsibility for taking care of one's own being, be it education, the food we choose to eat, the medicines we want to take - is beyond our comprehension and does ill for society even when it affects no one but ourselves. How dare we be so selfish as to feed our own children!? No, instead, go buy a video game.

My advice? Stay home Friday. Spend more time with your family. Read a book. Practice a craft, or enjoy a hobby. Cultivate the self; that which is best in you. Save some money. Live well...instead of living for goods.

-Brent

"To pray against temptations, and yet to rush into occasions, is to thrust your fingers into the fire, and the pray they might not be burnt." - Thomas Secker

Review: The Blacklist

Image found on the Internet

Fair warning, there are spoilers about...

There are actors who chew scenery. Then there is James Spader (playing 'Red' Reddington) who declines to chew, but instead takes a chainsaw to it. But more on that in a bit.

The Blacklist, over on NBC, is quite a good thriller, mystery, action, whatever-you-want-to-call-it. The plot is simple enough: The good guys, with the help of a master criminal, catch the baddest of the bad guys every week. It's all in the details and the questions left unanswered that makes it intriguing...well, that and Spader tearing holes the aforementioned scenery.  

Red was, as far as we can tell, a former good guy, but mysteriously breaks bad. He shows up 20 years later as a mastermind criminal fixer, well connected, enjoying the good life, but willing to risk it by turning himself into the FBI, and only willing to speak with one agent, all on the surface at least under the pretext of catch the worst criminals out there, the ones the FBI doesn't "even realize they exist". These criminals comprise the so-named blacklist. The set-up is much like any other procedural - tantalizing clues, running down the bad guy(s), and occasionally killing them. While the FBI does their thing, Red does his thing, and together they catch the bad guy. Red also maintains the illusion he is still a criminal to other criminals. But is it an illusion?

James Spader channels equal parts Hannibal Lecter and Danny Ocean: Mysteriously villainous, cold, and calculating - and occasionally a brutal murderer - while also effusing charm and good will with friends and loyal compatriots everywhere. It's an odd mix, but it works precisely because James Spader is so good in the role. He dominates every scene he is in with such presence you begin to feel sorry for the scenery.

The show tantalizes us with why Red is helping the FBI; what his connection is with Agent Keene (played by Megan Boone); why is there a box underneath the floorboards of the house implicating Keene's husband as some kind of nefarious criminal of his own; why Keene's burn scar looks like the symbol on the box; why when proven (apparently) innocent, Red still insists the husband is guilty despite his own hand in it; who is spying on Keene (shown to be neither the FBI, or Red);...and ultimately, what is up with Red and is fascination for lost girls and is he Keene's long gone, mysterious missing father.

The thing about shows with such hidden puzzles that piece them out to the audience, is that most bait the audience as if they most intellectually deadened and uncritical of mankind (and perhaps they are), but in the 9 episodes I have watched so far, the progression feels natural, things are being revealed at a decent pace, characters are growing as a result...it feels right.

The supporting cast is also magnificent (I could watch anything with Parminder Nagra)...

Parminder Nagra (Image found on the Internet)

...but Harry Lennix feels like his considerable acting skills is getting wasted here.

Harry knows I am right (Image found on the Internet)

I conclude by saying that The Blacklist has made my list of shows to watch (via the internet sadly) until such time as I may purchase it as a DVD. Here is hoping it has many more seasons to come.

Role-Playing Games (or Truckee Games?)

Image found on the Internet

As previously mentioned, I am a geek. I suppose if one looks for a reason why, let us believe three pivotal moments changed me from whatever was in store for me originally: 1) My father and mother took me to see Star Wars when it originally came out in theaters. 2) My father and mother sat me down in front of the TV to watch the original animated The Hobbit. 3) On a cross country trip from Michigan to California, my parents kept my occupied with a stack of comic books. All before I was 10 years old.

It should then come as no surprise that I became enthralled with Dungeons & Dragons when it first crossed paths with me, and from there, countless other role-playing games. It was fantastic mental exercise, helped get a shy boy out of his shell, and above all I credit it with making me smarter. Role-playing games (or RPGs) led me to research times, places, history, and science, far more than I probably would have otherwise at any given time. 

Yet, I let it become not just a hobby, but an obsession, and years have been wasted in fantastic, but utterly fictional worlds when, as mentioned, I should have been engaged in education and career. I credit RPGs for much of who I am, and thankfully so, but I fault myself for letting it lead me astray. At the moment I am retired from gaming as I try to take care of urgent family business as well as amend the defects in my life and rebuild into someone I can be proud of and worthy of my wife and children. At some point in the future, either on a lark, or with premeditation, I may return to writing for games, but I cannot say when.

That being said, I have in my time started an imprint called Truckee Games and produced various gaming worlds for play using a game called Risus: The Anything RPG by S. John Ross. I've also been tinkering with my own game system. As time progresses, I'll release each of these various settings rule system as separate posts.

-Brent

"This generation is so dead. You ask a kid, 'What are you doing this Saturday?' and they'll be playing video games or watching cable, instead of building model cars or airplanes or doing something creative. Kids today never say, 'Man, I'm really into remote-controlled steamboats.'" - Jack White

Review: The Red Badge of Courage by Stephen Crane

Image found on the Internet

"A man with a full stomach and the respect of his fellows had no business to scold about anything that he might think to be wrong in the ways of the universe, or even with the ways of society. Let the unfortunates rail; the others may play marbles." - Stephen Crane, The Red Badge Of Courage

The Red Badge Of Courage, written by Stephen Crane in 1895 is remarkable for a great many things, not the least of which was an absence of romantic notions of war, or the realistic depictions of combat (despite the author's lack of ever experiencing it). No, what I find most remarkable is the lack of partisan politic, ideology, class struggles, or any notion of why there is a civil war in a novel about a young man fighting in the American Civil War. The quote above comes not as a commentary about society, but as individual lamentations at the fortunes of war, that may be applied to society as well.

There are descriptions of uniforms (blue versus gray), and the Confederates are referred to as 'Rebs' (short for rebels), but not once is it ever discussed why they are fighting. Not slavery, not states rights, not any cause that contemporary (to the story) nor modern society can lay at the alter of blame. This is a story about men in combat, camaraderie, and personal failings or exultations. Indeed, there is a telling line from the story...

"The people were afar and he did not conceive public opinion to be accurate at long range." - Stephen Crane, The Red Badge Of Courage

Crane set out to write a story about one man and his journey from animal cowardice to feral bravery to reasoned duty. That is was set during the civil war is perhaps only a necessity of the time. In doing so, he unwittingly wrote a timeless piece applicable to any war, any man or woman fighting in it, years past or some point in the future; applicable to any society regardless of time or place; any cause, any reason. Ultimately, it did not matter to Crane what war the story took place in, because his subject was men-at-arms, personal motivations, and natural order. In this sense, the book is an allegory of any conflict.

"From his home his youthful eyes had looked upon the war in his own country with distrust. It must be some sort of a play affair. He had long despaired of witnessing a Greeklike struggle. Such would be no more, he had said. Men were better, or more timid. Secular and religious education had effaced the throat-grappling instinct, or else firm finance held in check the passions." - Stephen Crane, The Red Badge Of Courage

I end this with another quote from near the beginning of the story that succinctly sets the stage for what is about to transpire in the narrative: The story that follows is the 'means and roads' by which those things taken for 'granted' are finally examined under battle won maturity. A fitting story for any time, any man, any place, in any war.

"In his life he had taken certain things for granted, never challenging his belief in ultimate success, and bothering little about means and roads." - Stephen Crane, The Red Badge Of Courage

Used Books (or Living Frugally?) Part 1

Image found on the Internet

In the last couple of weeks I have purchased several hundreds of dollars worth of books for less than $50.00 total (including shipping when purchased online) by choosing to buy used books instead of new ones. And my expenses would have been even smaller had I chosen to go with paperbacks.

Now, I am perfectly aware that the publishing industry cannot survive if everyone went to purchasing used books instead of new ones, so please, do not follow suit with me. Go out. Buy a new book (hardback please). Enjoy it. Sell it to a used bookstore so I can buy it.

I recently set myself the goal of reading far more than I have (which is already considerable), but lacking an enormous paycheck I started to look at used books with serious interest. Between a couple of local (ie Reno) shops, ABEBooks, and Amazon, there is the entirety of human invention in the form of the written word available for the inexpensive picking.

I picked up for example,

Adventures into the Unknown Interior of America (by Cabeza de Vaca) for only $3.92
The Lost City of Z: A Tale of Deadly Obsession in the Amazon (by David Grann) for only $0.24
The Complete Tales of Washington Irving (by Washington Irving) for $12.00
A Collection of Jack London Stories (Call of the Wild, White Fang, et al) for $1.12
Adrift: Seventy-Six Days Lost at Sea (by Steven Callahan) for $0.01
The Red Badge of Courage (by Stephen Crane) for $0.99

And so many more, all in hardback of course.

It sparked something in me. A sense of connection to the past, of obtaining something valuable for little expense, and it has caused me to look at other expenses where I would have previously turned down "used", such as clothing. In the past, used clothes - from a thrift shop for example - served only as a source of Halloween costumes and the like.  Now I must consider whether I can do all my clothes shopping there, and where-else this frugality learned from used books might lead. The subject of a Part 2 at some point.

 -Brent

"The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them." - Mark Twain

Review: Adrift - Seventy Six Days Lost At Sea by Steven Callahan

Dust jacket cover for the 1986 edition

"If there is any enlightenment that I have been awakened to, it is that men's minds are dominated by their little aches and pains. We want to think that we are more than that, that we control our lives with our intellect. But now, without civilization clouding the issue, I wonder to what extent intellect is controlled by instinct, and culture is the result of raw gut reactions to life."  - Steven Callahan, Adrift, 1986, Page 74

I suffer from aquaphobia, but am also an aquaphile. When I was around 4 years old, I nearly drowned in a swimming pool and it has left a mark on me, yet, I am constantly attracted to the realm of water: streams, rivers, ponds, lakes, and even oceans. It sometimes leaves me in a spiritual vertigo of repulsion and attraction. I was fortunate to spend one summer about 5 years ago, sailing around San Francisco Bay under the guidance of a master seaman. I recall writing at the time that sailing was like "...riding a shark. Never have I felt so much raw natural power at my command, so much freedom from everything I thought was important, yet knowing that if I let my guard down, if become complacent, it will turn on me and devour me whole".
 
There was a time, the first time we sailed out into the Pacific, that the topping stay broke loose from the boom, and the main sheet snapped freely in the wind (landlubber terms: the big sail broke loose). The current was so strong leaving the bay we were being pushed further into the ocean and the iron wind (ie engine) at full throttle had us moving back, but at a crawl. We were in danger of needing to be rescued. The topping stay needed to be repaired. So there I was leaning out over the ocean, being held to safety by a line, and another crewman's hand, and trying to grab the stay as it flapped in the wind. Everything turned out fine, but it was harrowing for a while.

"I have chosen the sailor's life to escape society's restrictions and I have sacrificed it's protections." - Steven Callahan, Adrift, 1986, Page 84

I tell you this because it allows me to sympathize and empathize (even if my experience is below trivial in comparison) with Steven Callahan's account of his true life sinking and survival for 76 days aboard a small life raft. I understood the nautical terms and the dangers they implied (when I read other reviews, a common complaint was the use of nautical terms without explanation. Perhaps a glossary would have been useful for 'landlubbers'?).

In practical terms, Adrift is a tight book, though not precisely gripping, or suspenseful, is nonetheless captivating. I read it in two days. I had wondered - before reading it - how a book about a life raft could be compelling for so many pages. It is compelling in the extreme. One can hardly fathom, even as Callahan explains it, how he managed to survive. It chronicles how his boat sunk and the resulting 76 days adrift in the Atlantic and indeed what it took to survive: learning to spear fish, distill water, drive off sharks, surviving storms, waves, unbearable heat, starvation, and even madness. It chronicles how he dealt with a punctured life raft, accidentally poisoning himself, and the revolting harsh truth of saltwater sores, and other unpleasant truths of a body that begins to waste away. Illustrations throughout, drawn by the author, help bring some moments to vivid reality. It is an unflinching look at survival, instinct, man's ability to adapt, our needs versus wants, and ultimately what matters beyond the simple need to live.

"For the first time, I clearly see a vast difference between human needs and human wants. Before this voyage, I always had what I needed - food, shelter, clothing, and companionship - yet I was often dissatisfied when I didn't get everything I wanted, when people didn't meet my expectations, when a goal was thwarted, or when I couldn't acquire some material goody. My plight has given me a strange kind of wealth, the most important kind. I value each moment that is not spent in pain, desperation, hunger, thirst, or loneliness. Even here, there is richness all around me. [...] Yet [...] I need more, I need more than food and drink. I need to feel the company of other human spirits. I need to find more than a moment of tranquility, faith, and love." - Steven Callahan, Adrift, 1986, Page 109

Reading this book I felt the deep attraction and need to sail again while also fearing the terrible consequences of an indifferent sea to the slightest failures of men's arrogance. We are not in control of the shark, it is but an illusion that we maintain in order to abate fears. The truth is, we sail the oceans at the whims of nature's Gods, who will take away everything in a moment, and perhaps give it back sparingly, as Steven Callahan discovered somewhere in the Atlantic.

Dima (or The Four Legged Family Member?)

Dima in the Sacramento River by Benicia, CA

Let me tell you about my dog, Dima (short for Dmitry).

Someone else, trying to make amends for a mistake, ran out and got this 10 month old puppy from a disreputable rescue group as a gift to us. Prior to this, Dima was abandoned by his owners when they also abandoned their home. They left him in the backyard, where for about a week, he subsisted on grass. He floated from shelter, to foster home, to shelter, until this Someone got him. This Someone then tied him to a tree outside their house on a rainy night and told us to come get 'this dog'. We did.

For the next 6 months it was hell. Dima was obviously previously abused as well, because he would flinch if you reached to pet him, he would urinate if scared, and hid away from everyone. He ate his own waste to "hide his sin" as Vera put it. Every week, exhausted from dealing with Dima, we kept threatening...this is his last week...if he does not learn, back to the shelter.

And yet, we are animal lovers and suckers for big brown puppy eyes. And so we kept him, week after week. And the patience, love, and caring paid off.

Years later, he is the most well behaved, loving, grateful, and funny dog I have ever owned. He is sweet and loyal, and totally trusting of everyone in the family. He does not flinch anymore, and you can play with his ears while he sleeps and he does not care. He knows we love him and are not going to hurt him. Where once he whimpered and hid, he now brings you toys to play with.

This is my dog, Dima. He is a rescue. He deserved a chance at life and he got one.   

Last Christmas, my family and I decided to save another life for the holidays, and we being ‘dog people’, adopted a dog from the shelter. Unfortunately it did not work out for a variety of reasons. It was heartbreaking, but still Vera and I wanted to do something for the dogs locked away in shelters who need just a little love until they can find their own permanent home.

After some discussion, we agreed to forgo buying Christmas presents for each other that year, and instead take that money and donate it to the local Humane Society in the form of new beds, blankets, toys, and food.

The feeling was incredible, and we are doing the same this Christmas by forgoing gifts for each other and instead donating to the local shelter. I urge you...if you have money to spare this holiday season, find someway to donate to your preferred charity. The season is about giving right? Find a way to give to someone (or some critter) who really needs it.

Some more pictures of Dima enjoying the life he nearly did not have.

Dima enjoying Lake Tahoe with his own sun-bathing towel.

Dima enjoying a hike in the woods near Truckee, CA.

Dima likes running in and jumping into fresh powder.

Resting near Prosser Reservoir in Truckee, CA.

Enjoying Martis Creek in Truckee, CA.

-Brent

"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons." - James Grover Thurber