Monday, November 24, 2014

Family Long Gone Part 2 (or Grandma Mary Ellen)


Grandma Mary Ellen

First up on my recollections of Grandparents is my maternal Grandmother, Mary Ellen (deceased). The recollections are random, and in no particular order. This is a “living post” in that as I remember something, I will add it to this post, and update the date at the bottom.

  • My grandmother, Mary Ellen, came from a large, but I take it, poor, family. She had one sister (Dee), and three brothers (Adam, Vince, and John). One of these brothers is my Godfather, my Great Uncle John (deceased). I could not tell you a thing about their parents. There was a family member who I knew as Uncle Bill. I believe he was my grandmother’s uncle. 
  • I do not know where my grandmother was born, but by the time I came along, she was living in Detroit, Michigan, and spent most of her life there, before retiring to upstate Michigan in a little town called Lewiston. 
  • She gave birth to my mother and my aunt (Denise) before her husband (my maternal Grandfather, Ted) bailed to start a new family. She eventually remarried to a man named Maurice, and together they had a son, my uncle David. 
  • She met Maurice while working as a cocktail waitress in a bar or diner (both?) in Detroit. 
  • Together they would build a life on a street called Manistique, in a cute, if small, 2 bedroom, 1 bath, brick house. There was a yard outback, with a detached garage.
  • I used to spend time in the backyard playing with the various tools, pieces of wood, and what not, trying to build something (Or else, my uncle David was teaching me to shoot his BB gun at little plastic army men lined on the fence).
  • She had a dog, Buffy, a Cocker-Spaniel as an indoor dog, while she had three huge St. Bernards who lived in a specially built, and insulated dog shelter in the backyard. Their names were Heidi, Hungry, and Teddy Bear. Years later after they passed, and she had retired, she ended up with a little Yorkshire Terrier named Jasper.
  • There was a basement that seemed full of adventure and weird smells.
  • My grandmother used to make chocolate peanut butter candies. She’d work in the kitchen, melting chocolate, using those molds to make little shellfish candies or lollipops, creating chocolate covered peanut butter yummies. God they were tasty. 
  • Sunday nights, she’d host a huge family dinner. Everyone was there…My aunt and her husband, my uncle, my mom and dad, and even though it was a full dinner, my grandmother would send me home with bologna and American cheese sandwiches (with ketchup) on white bread, with a tupperware cup of milk. It was the best meal.
  • She used to work at a department store called Hudson’s, and retired from it. She used to buy an immense amount of clothing and send it to my brother, mother, and I, out in California. She’d buy on clearance, and with her discount, it came to nearly nothing. 
  • I remember visiting her once while she was still working at Hudson’s and seeing a cell phone for the first time. It was like a car battery with a long cord and a huge handset. Times have clearly changed.
  • She loved to camp and fish.
  • One time while visiting California in the 1980s, we were in the Marin Headlands and she stumbled. She ended up breaking her foot , and spending the rest of her vacation on crutches.
  • Just after I was born, my mother and I moved to Italy to be with my father (serving in the U.S. Army). Years later, I found cassette tapes my grandmother would send to my mother while in Italy. The tapes were filled, hours upon hours, of my grandmother speaking about every topic: Local gossip; the price of vegetables; politics; and so on.
  • She smoked.
  • She used to use an entire stick of butter to make omelets.
  • She died of cancer, of the breast, of the bone, and the lungs. She had been sick for years, but did not tell anyone. The one thing you could count on with my grandmother was that she would take care of everyone, but would never speak of her ill health or of needing help herself.
  • For reasons I’m not clear on, she had a falling out with her sister, Dee. Something to do with jealously and back-biting. It caused a divide in the brothers and sisters as they took sides. My mother’s generation seemed to stay out of it, and regardless of what was going on at their parent level, all the cousins got along fine.
  • The first time we ever visited her after she had retired, having not seen her in a few years, within 5 minutes of arriving at her home, she gave my brother and I brooms, and asked us to sweep the roof clean of leaves.
  • She cried. A LOT. Whenever we arrived. Whenever we left. It was tears of absolute joy at seeing family, and absolute sadness to see them go. The family used to tease her about it, but I would not have had it any other way. You knew she cared.
  • On a very early birthday for me, she had proudly made from absolute scratch a huge cake. She was so proud of it, and when it was served, I had the privilege of eating first. It was horrible! I said something to effect of “It’s gross!” and she burst into tears. Turns out…the cake had been sitting in the fridge next to the potato salad and the cream cheese frosting had absorbed the scent of onion and herb and made the cake taste like…well…potato salad. The “Onion Cake” still lives in family legend.
  • Before she had the home on Manistique, she lived in an apartment downstairs from a little boy who would one day grow up to be the drummer for The Romantics.

Last Updated 11/24/2014

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Review: FURY

Image found on the Internet

Fury is a hard to watch, and deeply disturbing, movie (for multiple reasons - the unflinching and harrowing violence/gore being but one of them), but also one of the best movies I've ever seen. There is no plot to speak of - it's just an in-depth character study of men in battle. Brad Pitt leads a cast of talented actors (all of whom deserve some kind of award for their portrayal) including Shia LeBouef, Michael Pena, Jon Bernthal, and Logan Lerman. 

It made me uneasy; at first thrilled and rooting, then ashamed of the same; nervous for the lives of fictitious characters, and so on. For example, there is a scene in the middle of the movie involving our protagonists and a pair of German women in a captured town. The tension has already been ratcheted up and then comes this entire scene playing out with desperation in a "will they or won't they" with hidden motivations including what I can only describe as "consensual rape". All to highlight whose humanity has or hasn't (and how much of either) been lost to war and civilians who take the brunt of nations fighting against each other. I laughed at some of the humor in the scene; was repulsed by whether these women would suffer violent assault; was heart-sick at a story being told about horses; and when finally the scene came to it's grim ending it was relief. 

Perhaps it is because I have read so many books/accounts of actual soldiers, and realized though this movie was not based on any real events, horrible things like this happen all through war, regardless of time or place, and everyone you see are just surrogates for real men, women, and children who died horribly.

I have not been in war, but my grandfather's served in WWII. I have heard stories from them. I know vets from then, and from our recent mistakes in the Middle East (one of which suffers PTSD something terrible). I am not a "fan" of war, but neither am I one to shirk from the belief that the human condition is one of violence eternal. Sometimes that is one the personal scale. Sometimes it is among nations. And war is a necessity to keep one's way of life intact. To do that, we much ask our soldiers to commit the unspeakable in our name and for our way of life, often setting them up to suffer such psychic damage (should they live) that they may never fully enjoy what they fought for. 

This movie is stark reminder of that. 

If you can stomach it, I recommend watching it.
-Brent

"The soldier above all others prays for peace, for it is the soldier who must suffer and bear the deepest wounds and scars of war." - Douglas MacArthur

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Halloween Decor (or DIY?) Part 1

Happy Halloween, in fact.
Some may recall my Christmas DIY decor I posted about last year. Well, I had the done the same for Halloween, but since this blog was started shortly after Halloween, this post had to wait an entire year to showcase what I had already previously completed on the cheap. Like everything else in my life lately, I've rejected the cheap, plastic, made-in-china disposable goods in favor of authentic experience and goods. Making my own decorations devoid of mass consumerism is far more satisfying than anything I could purchase.

Above, you will see a set of wooden letters costing about a buck each that were painted and then had a nifty scrapbooking paper glued to it. The paper is black but contains another color underneath, and when lightly sanded, the other color bleeds through to create a nice weathered look. These were completed in 2012. 


Skulls and Pumpkins
For Halloween 2013, I grabbed some paper mache pumpkins and skulls for less than $2.00 each. An exacto knife later, I had carved pumpkins and a few modifications were made to the skulls too. A little painting, some crumpled parchment paper, and LED candles later, we have a spooky quartet. 

Haunted House - Spider Haunt
Lastly, and also completed in 2013,  this is the same paper mache house used for two of the Christmas houses', but carved and painted to look in terrible shape, with cracks and gaping holes beyond just windows. A new effect I tried this time out was to draw shapes in pencil on the inside of the paper covering the windows/gaps. At night, when the LED candle is turned on, the 'secret' inside this house is revealed - spiders and spiderwebs! Like all the other houses, this one is named: Spider Haunt.

Stay tuned for more Halloween DIY for 2014!

-Brent

"When I was a kid, Halloween was strictly a starchy-vegetable-only holiday, with pumpkins and Indian corn on the front stoop; there was nothing electric, nothing inflatable, nothing with latex membranes or strobes." - Susan Orlean

Monday, September 15, 2014

Aftershock 2014 (or Eat My Dust?)

Image found on the Internet

This last weekend was spent with my daughter at the Aftershock 2014 music festival in Sacramento, CA. How it came to be that I was there, alternating between disgust and jubilation is a tale I will tell.

Polina has become a fan of a particular Japanese rock band by the name of One OK Rock. Back in February, One OK Rock came to the U.S. for the first time to play a few concerts. We drove to L.A. for the weekend just so she could see the band (a whole other adventure worthy of it's own tale). Come June, One OK Rock was the line-up in the 2014 Vans Warped Tour, and so we traveled to see them again (again, another adventure worthy of it's own tale).

Based on those experiences, I has miraculously rekindled my youthful love of going to concerts and music festivals that were so prevalent in my life during the late 80s and early 90s, but which had somehow faded in importance. Looking around for more, I found the Aftershock music festival playing only some months away in September, and promptly purchased tickets. 

Like most music festivals I suspect...you come for the headline acts, and are surprised and delighted to discover new bands. In this case, I was drawn in by AWOLNation (previously posted about here), Bad Religion, Godsmack, The Offspring, Rise Against, Rob Zombie, and Weezer. For the record, with the exception of AWOLNation which had a terrible live performance, it was so worth it, especially Rob Zombie who put on one hell of a show!


Image found on the Internet.

During Saturday's performance, the band which I was unfamiliar with and which stood out most to me was Viza (pictured above). Viza calls themselves International Rock, but the term I coined with Polina while watching was, Mediterranean Metal. They manage to combine Southern and Eastern European melodies and instruments with rock music, all fronted by delightfully original lyrics.They are a unique band, with their own sound, demanding attention. At some point, I will do a proper review of at least one of their albums (I purchased all of them), but I will leave you with this note; Viza seems to be the spiritual successor to Oingo Boingo (my all time favorite band). If you are interested, check youtube for them, and visit their website: www.experienceviza.com

Image found on the Internet.

Sunday's performance, on the other hand, brought another band to the fore, almost in opposite to Viza. This band is called Black Stone Cherry (pictured above). They hail from Kentucky and trade in good-ole'-fashioned rousing rock music. When most of the early sets of music all featured bands trying to out-scream each other on Sunday, it was refreshing to find a band who sang, sang well, and backed it with rocking good music far and away better than anyone else at that point. Truly, this band knew subtlety and nuance with voice, guitar, bass, and drums, as opposed to the heavy-handed hammering of other bands. Please do check them out at: www.blackstonecherry.com

The downside? I suppose I could complain about the overpriced drink and food, and the criminal lack of merch (except t-shirts) that one had to wait more than an hour in line to get, but that is I suppose to be expected (though the Warped Tour did a better job of this). Truly, the actual downside to the concert was out of the hands of the bands or the organizers, and that was the heat and dust. Aftershock was held on a weekend where the heat reached in excess of 100 degrees, and due to the California drought, with the venue being an outdoor park, the grass had long since died. More than 32,000 people dancing and jumping about, kicked up enormous dust clouds that just choked my lungs and nose (and the voluminous clouds of pot smoke didn't help either) and covered everything and everyone in grime. 

Still, for every delirious near-heat-stroked moment, gritty-teethed grimace, or stunned-contact-high we experienced, it was so much fun, and I must admit to having let go of my inhibitions and danced, and jumped, and screamed, until I was horse in voice and my legs ached.

I will do it again.

-Brent


"Our moments of inspiration are not lost though we have no particular poem to show for them; for those experiences have left an indelible impression, and we are ever and anon reminded of them." - Henry David Thoreau

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Review: A Letter To Momo

Image found on the Internet

Today I had the pleasure to watch in theaters a charming, sometimes bittersweet and sad, sometimes hilariously funny, anime called A Letter To Momo.

The titular Momo is an 11 year old girl who recently lost her father to a sudden and tragic death, and must come to terms with her emotions, her mother's turmoil, living in a new place filled with new people...and three goblins. The title is a reference to a blank letter left by the father to Momo with only the words, "Dear Momo" written on it.

The emotional heart of the film is the struggle Momo and her mother have in coping with the loss of father/husband, unrequited love, and overcoming fears sometimes metaphorically, sometimes literally. This is balanced with the humor originating from the goblins and Momos interactions with them. The goblins have a reason for being there, a connection to Momo, but that is part of the mystery of the movie so I will not spoil it here. Suffice to say, they cause more (funny) trouble for Momo than they help.

The metaphor here is simple. Life most go on, with all the ensuing heartache and sadness and fear, but also all the reasons to keep laughing and smiling, along with basic human needs such as the need to connect to others and even eating. The empty letter is clearly a tabula rasa, a metaphor for everything unsaid in life, and wished we could have said, but it's also a metaphor for life itself. It can be overly sentimental at times, playing for laughs and fantastical at others, but it never crosses the line to maudlin or slapstick.

Like the best of anime films these days, the "camera" holds scenes and characters in frame for long moments letting us dwell on the beautiful background paintings, or subtle animation of facial gestures of characters. It is in stark contrast to most Western "cartoons" which operate at a frantic pace to keep the kids attention. A Letter To Momo ostensibly is being billed as a children's movie in the U.S., but it really isn't. It's a thoughtful movie for mature audiences with occasional moments of hilarity and a few awe-inspiring take-aways.

You won't find anything new in this film, and no, it won't dethrone Hiyao Miyazaki, but it is worth watching. I recommend it.

-Brent




Monday, September 1, 2014

Family Long Gone Part 1 (or who were they?)

Image found on the Internet

While on a recent hike through the woods of Truckee, I got to thinking about my grandparents, and how little I actually know about them, and the trivial, if anything, I know about my great grandparents. I found this odd. In Norse traditions, for example, it was nearly mandatory to recall the deeds of ancestors, but now…my children’s children will barely know me, and their children won’t even know my name. What an odd way humanity functions, progress and families in small windows of clarity, and the moment it passes, it passes not just into history, but obscurity.

In some small part, I suppose that is why I write this blog; To help my future grandchildren, and their children to have some connection to their past; To know who came before them; and not just dates and places, but some idea of who I was, what I loved, what I feared, what I wanted out of life; and who came before me. To that end, over the next couple of days or weeks, I will post some recollections of my grandparents, all now deceased, and my mother, also deceased. Hopefully it will be of some use in the future, and maybe inspire others to pick up the chain of history and reconnect the links to the future.

-Brent


“Allow me to ask you, then, how can man govern, if he is not only deprived of the opportunity of making a plan for at least some ridiculously short period, well, say, a thousand years, but cannot even vouch for his own tomorrow?” – Mikhail Bulgakov

Sunday, August 31, 2014

Michigan Wolverines (or University of Michigan?)

Image found on the Internet

I have, at the age of 43 years old, not yet graduated any college. I have taken some community college classes. That being said, I have always considered the University of Michigan my unofficial alma mater.

My father graduated from U of M while I was a small lad, and as a result, spent much of my formative youth in Ann Arbor, on the college campus, at Wolverine Hockey games...and more importantly...spending every season of Wolverines football in the stadium, rain, sun, or snow, watching Bo Schembechler take the Wolverines to victory.

I vividly recall the drive every Saturday to the stadium, passing the same lightning-split tree, the same purple house; I remember the drum major, Jeff Wilkins marching down the field bent over backwards. Hearing "The Victors", hearing "Let's Go Blue" still instantly transports me back to my youth.

I remember the same kindly elderly alumni couple who would buy me popcorn at the game.

College football is something special, something different than the NFL for me, and although I am likely to never, ever, graduate from a college at this point in my life, I would like to think if I did, it would be at Michigan, and that I would be able to watch a Wolverines game again, this time as student or alumni, and maybe I would buy popcorn for some small boy. I can dream.

GO BLUE!

-Brent


"We want the Big Ten championship and we're gonna win it as a Team. They can throw out all those great backs, and great quarterbacks, and great defensive players, throughout the country and in this conference, but there's gonna be one Team that's gonna play solely as a Team. 
No man is more important than The Team. No coach is more important than The Team. The Team, The Team, The Team, and if we think that way, all of us, everything that you do, you take into consideration what effect does it have on my Team? Because you can go into professional football, you can go anywhere you want to play after you leave here. You will never play for a Team again. You'll play for a contract. You'll play for this. You'll play for that. You'll play for everything except the team, and think what a great thing it is to be a part of something that is, The Team. We're gonna win it. We're gonna win the championship again because we're gonna play as team, better than anybody else in this conference, we're gonna play together as a team. 
We're gonna believe in each other, we're not gonna criticize each other, we're not gonna talk about each other, we're gonna encourage each other. And when we play as a team, when the old season is over, you and I know, it's gonna be Michigan again, Michigan." - Bo Schembechler

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Reunited (or Vera?)

Vera

My wife, Vera, has been overseas for the last 3 months and returns today. As she is a practical woman and not given to sentimentality, or dripping romance, I will simply say I have missed her, love her, and glad she is returning home.

“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.” - Mother Teresa 

Friday, August 29, 2014

SJ Sharks (or do you understand icing?)

Image found on the internet

I have previously spoken about football, and specifically the 49ers, but let me tell you about San Jose Sharks, the NHL Hockey team that I support, and support far more than the 49ers.

When Vera and first got together, I was heavily into Football, which she did not care for, whereas she was into Basketball, which I did not care for. Trying to find a sport we both could agree to took little effort because choices were limited: We both hated baseball (sorry baseball fans), but did not know much about hockey. Mostly on a whim, we went to see a Sharks game, and were blown away.

Hockey is so much better than any sport I have watched before. It is kinetic and frenetic. Constant attack and defend leaves you as a fan with pumping hearts and sweaty palms. It is exhilarating to watch, and if you blink, you might miss something. It took a few games but we even finally understood what ‘icing’ is as a penalty. We purchased Jerseys, t-shirts, sweaters, and other merchandise with the SJ Sharks logo on it. Something neither of us had done for other teams we support. We even got signed Jerseys by none-other-than Joe Thornton himself!

“I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the players and too much time passes between scoring in hockey. There are usually more fights than there are points.” - Andy Rooney

Look, I know the knock against hockey is that it is low scoring (soccer on ice) and it is mostly about fights (boxing on ice), but let me set you straight: It is low scoring, which makes every goal count, but low scores do not make for boring games. Every goal is hard-fought with constant action, where gaining leverage, exploiting every mistake, overwhelming force, and precision gain you the edge to win in hotly contested games. Every victory a triumph, and every loss a disaster. As to fighting? Yes, it happens, and actually plays a very small part of the game itself, but despite the physicality of it, is actually about psychologically intimidating the other team. Where players are literal battering rams against other players, a team with a known fighter on their side keeps an edge that may cause hesitation in the other in a game played at full speed.

Give hockey a chance, because chances are you will like it. If you can keep your eye on the puck.

-Brent

“We can make fun of hockey fans, but someone who enjoys Homer is indulging the same kind of vicarious bloodlust.” - Steven Pinker

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Rubber Necking (or What The Hell Is Wrong With People?)

Image found on the Internet

I want to tell you a story that is bothering me, and I will admit some aspect may sound like I am praising myself, but that is not the intent.

About a week ago, from my bedroom window I heard the screeching of tires and the tell-tale sound of cars colliding, complete with a car horn playing its note in one long tune. This accident, I could tell, happened on a main drag, about two streets over from my domicile. This being Vallejo, and expecting little of my fellow citizens, I threw on my shoes and wandered over.

Sure enough, a car had collided with the back of another. The salient point of this tale is that a woman was still in her car, bleeding, obviously in shock, and trying to call someone on a cell phone, while her car still sat in the road on a blind turn. A crowd had beat me to the scene, but all they did was stand there and watch.

I leaped to action and got the woman out of her car, over to the sidewalk, and flagged down cars coming around the turn so as to avoid another collision, while at the same time convincing a few men to push the damaged car out of the road. Later, the paramedics who arrived would not let me go until I could show them the blood on my arm was not mine.

So yes, I did what I thought any decent person ought to do, but it really bothers me that everyone just stood around watching, and not helping, until I said otherwise.

Something has seriously gone wrong in our society. This isn't reality television, people...it's just reality.


-Brent

“Science may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -- the apathy of human beings.” ― Helen Keller

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Life Gone Awry (or Failure of Planning?)

Image found on the Internet


So, my gentle reader, you might well consider what had become of this introspective blog since last I wrote, way back in December of 2013.

Life happened.

And inadequate planning of my life allowed everything to get ugly. And messy. And confounding.

Simply put, I left the mountains of the Sierras and my home of the last three years, Truckee, California, and moved back to the San Francisco Bay Area and that well bankrupt city of Vallejo. I did so in order to move in with my ill father and provide some measure of stability. The wife and kids initially stayed, but are now dispersed in various living arrangements.

Not to put too fine a point upon it, I regressed to bachelor living with my wife about. Got out of shape. Ate terrible. Did not exercise. Never got around to taking the wood working classes. Purchased goods for a life I don't have or ever will have. There is an upside, but that's a tale for later.

I don't want to dwell on this, so I won't prolong it. Just let me say that had I been a better man, had planned better, had some sense of myself as a man and not a man-child, it could have been different.

My situation has not changed, but I will attempt to do better. Until the next.

-Brent

"In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable." - Dwight D. Eisenhower